Unanswered

I continue to deliberate with myself as to why I am here, what role my own actions played in the situation, and how I could and should react. I am simultaneously reminded of how privileged I am to be here rather than at war, for example, and yet also feel tormented in having to be here. I feel ashamed that I am not stronger to withstand being cast here as the others seem to be able to do, though I do have gratitude that I am not in more dire circumstances. I'm trying to learn as much as I can from this experience; professionally, personally, philosophically, in terms of my relationship with myself and with others. What I cannot understand the most is how my boss has the wherewithal to judge that my probation be discontinued and that my employment be terminated. If he doesn't like me then he can simply have me removed and I will gladly go teach for somebody else at another school. Of course I will miss my students and colleagues, but I am already missing them by having my teaching license denied. At least with a school transfer, a second opinion can be given and somebody else can also determine what my worth is as a teacher. I am appalled at the mistreatment I am shown, given my diligence in the years of service. All the charges that are being made against me are only from very recently - if at all substantiated, not considering my previous years of good service. I suppose they don't care what I've contributed to the school, the students, or the staff. If an alleged mistake is made, there seems to be no restitution provided.